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Definitions
Birth and Infancy
Coming-of-Age
Marriage & Commitment
Weddings
Recommitment
Spiritual Initiation
Death and Grieving
Rites for the Dying
Funerals and Memorials
Other Rites of Passage
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Other Rites of Passage
Normally the phrase “rite of passage” is used to describe a ritual marking a stage in a person’s life that nearly everyone passes through. The main ones, discussed elsewhere on this site, include birth; entering adulthood; marriage or commitment to a partner; entering elderhood; and death.
But there are other possible thresholds that can be just as significant, even though they may not be a part of everyone’s life. A ceremony or ritual marking these points can be deeply meaningful for the person involved and his or her family and close friends.
Below are some possible examples.
- Coming out as gay or lesbian, or transgender changes
- Divorce
- Health-related:
- Acknowledging the diagnosis of a major illness, whether life-threatening such as cancer, or life-changing such as multiple sclerosis
- Marking the surgical removal of a limb or organ and the resulting life change
- Healing from a long-term condition
- Celebrating a significant university degree, such as a PhD
- Transition from soldier to civilian, or from civilian to soldier
- Work-related transitions:
- Starting a new job or career
- Promotion
- Relocation
- Leaving an old job
- Retirement
- Home related:
- Moving from an old home
- Blessing a new home
All of these occurrences frequently involve major life changes. Although they may be anticipated changes, they nevertheless often involve losses as well as gains. Moving from an old home, for instance, may be a move up into a more attractive place but it also may mean leaving behind a home filled with fond memories. Taking a new job, even with a promotion, may mean leaving behind coworkers who have become close friends. Divorce often means leaving behind positive memories and changes in living arrangements and friends, even if you stay in the original home.
The change may be a traumatic one that requires formal and direct acknowledgement to help make the transition. Sometimes the basic change is a definite loss, like being diagnosed with a debilitating condition such as multiple sclerosis, having to undergo the amputation of a limb, or being faced with a sudden illness such as a heart attack or from an accident that leaves one disabled or disfigured in some way.
Sometimes the basic change is positive, but underlying it is a major loss that makes transition difficult. The truth of this is increasingly being recognized for soldiers returning to civilian life, especially if they have seen combat, but often it is also true for someone returning to health after battling a serious or long-term condition such as cancer.
Leaving the close camaraderie of one’s squad or platoon and returning to a society in which no one seems to understand what he or she went through may leave the returning soldier feeling very alienated. But even for someone who has been pronounced cured after fighting a devastating health condition, leaving the familiar environment of the hospital or the infusion center may leave the newly cured person feeling socially bereft. A rite of passage from the old to the new condition can help ease those traumatic transitions.
If you are facing a transition in your life and would like to formally celebrate, or at least acknowledge, leaving the old and embracing the new, contact me. I can help you create a ritual that will help smooth your transition and add meaning to your change.
Rev. Jenny Sill-Holeman, CHt, RM
Contact Rev. Jenny
650-369-6215 (phone & fax)
Redwood City, CA |
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